THE HIS & HERS BEDTIME CHALLENGE

First one asleep loses.

Cover of Bore Her to Sleep: a husband explains the offside rule while his wife sleeps Cover of Bore Him to Sleep: a wife tells her whole day while her husband sleeps

He explains the offside rule. She tells you about her day. Two funny books you read to each other in bed.

Get both on Amazon $12.99 each · paperback · a gift for two

Whose side are you on?

He asked if you had a minute. That was three lessons ago.

Professor Harold Drone has never been asked a question, and has answered thousands. Fifteen bedtime lessons, read to a woman who didn't ask:

  1. Lesson 2. The Offside Rule (Simplified)
  2. Lesson 3. How to Load a Dishwasher Correctly
  3. Lesson 4. The Thermostat Is Set to 68 for a Reason
  4. Lesson 5. Bitcoin, Explained in One Minute (fourteen pages)
  5. Lesson 7. A Brief History of the Wood Screw
  6. Lesson 9. 5W-30, and What the W Stands For
Bore Her to Sleep on Amazon
A page from Bore Her to Sleep with the professor's hand-drawn offside diagram
Lesson 2. He drew this one himself. He describes the other ten.

He asked how her day was. She's still answering.

Linda Fawn has a lot to tell you. All of it. In order. With voices. Fifteen bedtime updates, read to a man who asked:

  1. Update 2. The Lemon Cake Situation
  2. Update 3. Forty-Seven Shades of Beige
  3. Update 4. The Throw Pillows
  4. Update 5. The Group Chat (312 unread)
  5. Update 8. My Mother Called
  6. Update 10. The Candle
Bore Him to Sleep on Amazon
A page from Bore Him to Sleep with Linda's drawing of the pillow system
Update 4. The pillow system, drawn on the back of a receipt.

Can you stay awake?

Lesson 2, read to you by the professor. Tap start. Don't close your eyes.

Tap “Start Lesson 2”.

The rules

  1. She reads Bore Him to Sleep to him.
  2. He reads Bore Her to Sleep to her.
  3. Same night. Same bed. Same even voice.
  4. First one asleep loses. The winner blows out the candle.

Write the page you fell asleep on in the scorecard at the back. Bring it up at breakfast. Forever.

BirthdaysAnniversariesWhite ElephantStocking stuffer“Let me explain” people

Questions nobody asked

Will it really put them to sleep?

It's a humor book, not medicine. Results depend on how even your voice is.

Who is it for?

Anyone who has said “Let me explain” or “So, how was your day?” after eleven at night. And the person lying next to them.

Can I buy just one?

Of course. But then who wins?

Is there anything else inside?

A gift inscription page, Bedtime Bingo, a scorecard, a certificate nobody has earned, and in hers, all forty-seven beiges.

Get both on Amazon